plz talk dirty to me
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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