Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
there is glitter all over my balls
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
