just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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