Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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