with your own penis?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
