Cold hands, warm shart.
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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