So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She needs sedatives and a leash
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
