If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
we should paint friendship bongs
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
