Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
