clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
