didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
