Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
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