u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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