please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize