It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
