ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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