Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
