Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
