belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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