New low: just hacked my moms facebook
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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