I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
