Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize