butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
