garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize