My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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