I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize