I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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