Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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