we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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