hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
