North Korea, Best Korea!
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I have fence marks all over my body
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
