I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
