I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
