god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
