A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
