Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
