You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I don't think brook has ever known best
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Randomize
