Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
