Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
of course. lets lasso hookers.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
