Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
