I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
