I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
