We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize