he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
