Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
