Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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