It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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