they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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