He disabled his match.com account in front of me
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
