There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
50% drunk capacity currently
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
