He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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