dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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