i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
