All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
