whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
