member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
