Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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