Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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