Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
