Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
