we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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