and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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