No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
