hell yes lets make some ravioli
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Lo siento on account of my penis...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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