I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Do you remember whose house we're in?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
