If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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