im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
