The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Your dad touched me again.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I love having hate sex.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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