its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
